Top 10 signs you are a people-pleaser

Top 10 signs you are a people-pleaser

Here are some top signs and reasons showing that you are a people-pleaser.

1. You always avoid conflict- people-pleasers hate conflict or disagreement. They will do anything they can to appease the other person. Lying and over-promising are common results of this.

2. Can’t say NO- people-pleasers cannot say “no.” Even if they are in a huge predicament and very busy at the moment, it will be easier for the people-pleaser to say yes and work hard for 12 hours straight rather than turning down a request from some stranger.

3. Tiptoes around others- people-pleasers tend to be hyper-sensitive to other people’s feelings and see things that are not really there. They tend to over worry about how another person might be offended.

4. Has no goals or dreams in life- the reason people-pleasers don’t have goals or ambitions is because they wait for other people to tell them what their goals and ambitions should be. If they have more than one person in their life telling them what they should do, they will try to accommodate everyone’s advice. To the outside person, the people-pleaser will look lost.

5.  People-pleasers are burned out- this goes back to people-pleasers being unable to say no. They over-commit, over-promise, and ultimately under deliver.

6. Lets others make decision for them- this goes along with number 4, but people-pleasers rarely makes decisions, whether it’s deciding where to eat to more important task at work.

7. Has fear of authority- people-pleasers often fear people of authority, such as their boss or someone of fame.

8. People-pleasers are always apologetic- this is self-explanatory, they tend to apologize for everything, things that are not even their fault.

9. People-pleasers feel trapped- they tend to feel so trapped in their commitments that they consider moving away rather than just telling their friends or supervisor that they need a break.

10. Anxiety- people-pleasers become anxious about upcoming conflicts and replay possible scenarios in their head. Stress and loss of sleep are common problems.

While this is not a complete list, it is definitely the top 10, especially from my own personal experience. A more lengthy list can be seen on Vickie Champion’s website: http://vickiechampion.com/2011/04/04/52-traits-of-a-chronic-people-pleaser/

3 comments

  1. Susan V. Castro

    http://frackakak.wordpress.com comments that there is a thin line between people pleasing and being sensitive to the feelings of others, we just have to know where to draw that thin line.

  2. Ok. I seenlm to have a lot of these characteristics. How do you make changes?

    • It's definitely tough. I get so anxious in the moment that it's hard to think, but trying to pinpoint when I am a people-pleaser seems to help greatly. When you pinpoint and know when and how, you can bring yourself back to your senses, sorta. But this is def a long-term thing, hope things go well for you