Start of a long journey

Start of a long journey

I always knew I had a problem. I was afraid of letting people down and was always thinking of scenarios in my head before saying no, that is if I could say no. I commit to things I do not want to do and grow resentful. If I say no to someone, I always have to have some kind of elaborate excuse where me saying no is not reflected on me, but reflects on something that I have no control of.


When there is a conflict, I tend to become passive and hyperventalate. When I know that I am faced with a conflict the next day, I can’t sleep and my heart pounds in my chest thorughout the night. My schedule is always busy, doing things people ask me to do. I am taken advantage of and everyone thinks that I am ok. My relationship with my girlfriend was struggling, much in part because I couldn’t say no to the things she wanted and me growing distant and resentful.
I always knew in part that there was something wrong with me, I just didn’t know what it was. I couldn’t put a finger on it and a lot of the things I was doing, I was doing things without realizing it. It was just who I was. Reality finally hit me the other day. I work at a tire store, I am a service manager there. Long story short, I completely refunded the customer’s money when he was unhappy. A month later, he comes back and demands we fix something that he got a complete refund for. I was berrated and yelled at for 20min. The whole time, I just apologized while saying that I will try my best to reconcile the situation. Reality is, this customer was trying to get something fixed for free. He did not pay a single dime, in fact, when I refunded his money, I ended up giving him $2 extra. He got livid when I told him that he would have to pay for the labor to get his car fixed.
When I went home that night, I was so angry and frustrated with myself. I ended up doing a google search for “how to stand up for yourself.” It was then and there that I read about “people-pleasers.” The rest is history. I decided that it was time to put a stop to this. This is why this site is here. I can’t be the only person with this problem, my hope is that others will find this site and gain encouragement and support. This day is a start of a new day.

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