Be able to laugh at yourself

Be able to laugh at yourself

When you’re self-confident, you can make fun of yourself and joke around. If you have absolutely no self-confidence, you’ll never be able to do such a thing. In most situations, you’ll have to make fun of others to try and make yourself look good. Take the example of the mega-popular video that’s going around that just went viral. Korean singer Psy’s music video: “Oppa Gangnam Style.”

Read More

Blog entry #2

These past few days have been pretty busy so I haven’t been able to update this site as much as I’ve been wanting to.  I did buy a Total Gym from Craigslist a 2 days ago so that I can start working out. Working out boosts confidence and confidence is definitely a good thing. The years when I transitioned from high school to college, I think those were the best years of my life. While I was still a people-pleaser, I was a lot more confident and didn’t care what people thought of me as much. I contribute a lot of that to being really really fit. I had less than 7% body fat, which meant solid 6 pack abs. I was in great physical condition and felt great. I ran everyday and lifted weights. I think as my body image started to dwindle when I got lazy was when my people-pleaser characteristics resurfaced. It would be interesting to know if there are studies that correlate being overweight to depression. I am sure this is the case.

There have been a couple times when my tendency to please would come up. The worst part is at work when my managers would demand one thing and the customers demand another. I would have to listen to my managers but the customers would be very upset. What is really helping is this blog. I am looking for precise examples to write in my articles, but because I am doing that, it makes me think rationally. It helps me realize that I should not be personally effected the way I usually am for the trouble that arises at work. Yesterday I was in a situation where our mistake caused $1,500 in damages to a customer’s property. This was a situation where I would normally hyperventilate. While I was personally involved in this incident, I was not personally  liable and that was something that I kept repeating to myself. It was not my fault, because it wasn’t. We people-pleasers tend to take blame and fault for everything and then, we have to fix it. This is the thought process we have to stop and look at the bigger picture.

Read More

Sociotropy: term for people-pleasers

Sociotropy: term for people-pleasers

When I first started down this road, I got the term “people-pleasers” when making a search online for “how to stand up for yourself.” I realized quickly that I am a chronic people-pleaser, but there is an actual scientific term; this term is sociotropy. Wikipedia defines sociotropy as a personality trait associated with high levels of dependence and excessive need to please others.

Read More

People-pleasers are prone to overeating

People-pleasers are prone to overeating

There is an interesting article on Time’s Heartland website: http://healthland.time.com/2012/02/02/how-people-pleasing-leads-to-overeating/ showing studies how people-pleasers tend to overeat. According to the article, people-pleasers tend to overeat to make other people feel more comfortable. It doesn’t matter if the person is hungry or not, in fact, the person could be full but will try and eat to put the other person at ease. 90% of the time, this person will regret overeating and usually faces physical discomfort later.

Read More

Top 10 signs you are a people-pleaser

Top 10 signs you are a people-pleaser

Here are some top signs and reasons showing that you are a people-pleaser.

1. You always avoid conflict- people-pleasers hate conflict or disagreement. They will do anything they can to appease the other person. Lying and over-promising are common results of this.

2. Can’t say NO- people-pleasers cannot say “no.” Even if they are in a huge predicament and very busy at the moment, it will be easier for the people-pleaser to say yes and work hard for 12 hours straight rather than turning down a request from some stranger.

Read More